I had picked up a larger vocabulary lately, but, hell, I’d have had trouble following English at that blurring speed. It was probably best that way, because if I was a hearing things correctly, the last sentence that blurred by had included the words for “thirty-two donkeys” and “your whore of a grandmother.” I was guessing that probably wasn’t an invitation to a Tupperware party. Unless Tupperware parties had really changed since my Mom had one when I was a kid.Concentrating, I realized I had to be laying on my side and probably in the trailer park. The dull white gravel dust was pretty unmistakable.At least I was near home. Such as it was.I pushed myself to sit and immediately began dry heaving from a combination of nausea and a headache that had to be among the greatest manmade disasters in history.The screeching snapped off and those two delicate feet jumped back out of immediate splash range with a yelp.My nausea subsided and I looked up, only to realize that shit had actually. She was at least my Mum’s age but I still found her very sexy. “Time you went to bed young man,” she commanded. I finished my coffee and dutifully followed her. We walked up the stairs to the first floor of the hotel and I turned to climb the second flight to my room. “Not so fast young man, I want a word with you in private.” I knew she had caught me taking an eyeful of her thigh and stocking tops, and I probably hadn’t been too discrete about looking at her cleavage as well. She took hold of my tie and led me towards her room, then pushed me through the door in front of her. I knew I was in trouble. “Now young man, you have spent this evening trying to see up my skirt or look down blouse. Now it’s very rude…” I started to stutter an apology, but she silenced me with a finger held to my lips. “It’s very rude to do that and not to say how attractive you think the woman is. Kevin, do you know what an Aunty is when she is not a relative?” I didn’t. “Well, it’s an older woman that.
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